The Realization

Realization - coming to understand something clearly and distinctly

When I was a little girl my Grandmother would always make remarks about how thin I was. She would say things like, "Don't you feed this child? She's way too skinny!" As I grew and blossomed the remarks changed. "You're starting to look a little chunky around here," she would say while motioning to her own round hips. The thing is, I was completely normal. My whole life I was completely normal. Not thin, not fat.

Slowly, over time, this changed, I guess

Ok, here is a little background. Since meeting my husband, falling in love, starting college, finishing college, getting married, having a baby, finding a great job and being laid-off from said great job (on my birthday) I have put on ... drum roll please ... 70 pounds! Yes, I said it! 70 pounds!!! WOW! Well it's time for things to change in a BIG way!

So, what does and extra 70 pounds look like? I HAVE NO IDEA. I know, I know. I'm the one carrying all of that extra baggage around. This was such a slow process that I didn't see it happening. People would try to be helpful and give me "polite" suggestions but, I would just shrug it off. I knew I was carrying a few extra pounds around but I really didn't think it was a problem.

It's there, I know it's there. I just don't know how to really see it.